Ideas for acts of kindness… October 9, 2006

“A campaign for what?” Ibrahim asked me. We were sitting together in the library, taking a study break (I feel I take too many of these), exhausted from lack of sleep and far too much studying (or not enough). Iftar was still a couple of hours off.

“A campaign for kindness.” And with that, off I went…explaining the concept and its conception (from one of M’s posts).

“What can we possibly do that’s consistent? With our schedules?” (this is paraphrased…picture it in a heavy patois).  So we ended drafting up some ideas of consistent acts of kindness (while our books and notes and paper deadlines lay forgotten).

The Food for Food thing:
Many of our masjids and Islamic institutions (schools and such) hold communal Iftars. It is extremely easy to set up donation bins here…for canned goods, non perishable foods and (CAUTION!) clothing and such (more on this later). There’s always a need for such things…Speaking to city food banks and other organizations that help out the homeless, one will note that they’re happy for donations year round. Some of them may even be happy to pick up donations on a weekly schedule (or not).

This little project requires very little in the way of maintenance…all you really need is some announcements (one can talk the Masjid staff into handling this), some containers (cardboard boxes, Rubbermaid containers etc…can be acquired from donations or even the food-bank), some donors (i.e. the people showing up for Iftar) and perhaps a driver to run things down to the food banks (or whatever).

Offering a fun incentive (such as a friendly competition, prizes such as a dua’a done in caligraphy or whatever) can increase donations. If you’re feeling ambitious, link up with some people…start these at a couple of masjids and set up a friendly competition. Such is the way of our beloved Sahaba (companions of the Prophet) who would compete (in a friendly manner) in how much they could contribute (for the sake of Allah of course). We’ve managed to collect a good deal of food in our first week of Ramadhan at the University and some masjids that have joined us and have even managed to set up a single weekly delivery of food from all the masjids and University to the shelter and Toronto Food Bank.

Special note on clothes, gifts and other items (and this comes with years of volunteering at shelters and the Salvation army). People tend to donate ripped or unsuitable clothing, broken items and so on…so just be careful. Don’t forget to throw them in the wash.

The idea can be expanded into other items and areas…such as book drives and so on…try and stick within the community, town or city…these acts can then become extremely effective in our backyards.

The Random Acts of Poetry thing:

Okay…honestly…We didn’t come up with this idea (here’s the official link to Random Acts of Poetry). I think the League of Canadian Poets came up with it (I may be mistaken)…and the idea isn’t for everyone but it does seem to coincide very well with the remembrance of blessings and beauty that is integral to Ramadhan. Carolyn Souaid, a poet involved in the RAP project, describes the appeal…

“Poetry is often perceived as a bitter pill. This will be an opportunity to knock poetry out of the ivory tower. An opportunity to hear a real flesh-and-blood poet, an invitation for the everyday person on the street to slow down a little and enjoy a literary burst of energy for what it is —nourishment for the soul”

The idea goes that you recite a poem to a random person. The poem must be recited in its entirety. This is harder than you think. The more poetry you know, the better…and try to make it relevant to the person’s situation if you could. It can be used as a form of dawa’a (to remind others of the miracle of beauty) and remembrance so pick some suitable poems. I’ve got recommendations if y’all are interested (Sufi poetry is a huge hit with people). Try and pick some well know poems as well, well known authors, preferably commenting on beauty, nature, faith, patience…so on and so forth. You don’t even have to make a day of it. Try and do it wherever you find yourself. Downtown…in the Library…at the Grocery store…wherever.

Just try not to freak people out and try and avoid hassling people. The point is to give their days a high point, give them a smile and remind them of the beauty of language (the poems don’t have to be in English…but you should follow the recitation with a translation). We ended up trying this downtown (at Street Support) and it was a huge hit. People were slackjawed, laughing and generally had a good time with it. We even ended up inspiring some folks (we recited to) downtown to join us in further recitations and they ended up sharing dinner with us that evening. They loved it!

Granted…this could take some effort and time to implement. But as I said, doing it wherever you find yourself can be quite easy. It also helps us get over our fears of starting a conversation.

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So here are 2 ideas from the 15 on our list. I figure I’ll keep posting ideas. In all honesty…these are simply ideas for our beloved contributors and our constant (and not-so-constant) readers. Some may not be for you (I’m sure some of you don’t think they’re very good ideas). Still…they’re starting points, blueprints to be changed, modified and eventually implemented in different ways. I figure if we keep throwing out ideas, someone’s going to find something they’ll really enjoy and they could go on to implement into their own schedules. At the end of the day…all that matters is we do SOMETHING!

Next time on the list:
The Big Brother/Big Sister/Mentor thing

Alright…back to my much neglected studies y’all…Let me know what you guys.

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Salaams, Much Love and Respect
-TWS Out

On the power of apology October 6, 2006

Ramadan is a month of forgiveness. One must learn to forgive and constantly ask for Allah’s forgiveness. “Forgiveness” – a word so easy to preach, and yet so difficult to practice. I don’t know when I became so unforgiving. It was perhaps the physical torture I suffered as a child. I would cry myself to sleep or softly call out for my mother who was never allowed to ‘spoil’ me. I learnt to handle on my own the struggling sobs that lumped in my throat in tiers, the stinging pain that often left me numb, and those warm salty tears that forever filled my childhood eyes. Perhaps in that process I became so harsh that I may forgive but I struggle to forget. However, where there is fault in a person, God gives them some saving grace to make them more human than merely sculptures with stone cold hearts.  

I have never perceived stubbornness to accept fault or failure a virtue. There are times when I have apologised to my younger siblings, colleagues, friends, students, and even my children. I don’t remember my parents ever apologising to us even though they knew they had made mistakes. Perhaps apology would make us less ‘parental’? It would make us more human, I know. Pondering on the virtues of pardon is not enough if you have no one who apologises. Generally, in our bid to forgive we forget to act contrite. We demand that Bush and Blair apologise for the havoc they are creating in the Muslim world. We want the Pope to ‘say sorry’ for ridiculing Islam and its Prophet. We demanded that President Musharraf apologise for mocking rape victims. But did they? Does anyone ever apologise?! I am appalled at the behaviour of even the common rushed person on the street who bumps into me and the baby in my arms without ever saying, “I’m sorry! Are you alright?” Societies, communities, and people who don’t value the feelings of others and don’t see the warmth that the five-letter word can bring have granite hearts and marble eyes.  

A few months ago, a fellow blogger posted on a useful topic which irritated a commentator unnecessarily. When he let his feelings known, the blogger replied, “Please forgive me for upsetting you, brother. I would rather delete the post than cause you discomfort.” I was completely enveloped by the admiration I felt for the blogger when I read his reply. (And, if you are reading this, dear blogger, please know that someone greatly admires the kind heart you possess. I am not divulging your name in fear that my admiration may be seen as flattery). This is what I call kindness; a random act of sweet kindness which makes us far superior to those who stubbornly denounce others to look smart and knowledgeable.  

There are days when I am terrifyingly stubborn which makes me feel tough and six feet tall. In the night when I stand on my prayer mat I feel like a Pygmy. The prayer mat begins to engulf me like quicksand in which I sink and look small and negligible standing stupidly in the presence of the Great Forgiver. It is one of God’s smart ways of making me realise how naïve I had been in not admitting my fault earlier in the day. On a brighter day when I own up to my mistakes I stand tall before Him in the night. I feel strong, powerful, and a much better person. I can sense Him smiling approvingly at me.

Yesterday, my four year old ran his bike on my toes. Although, I didn’t complain he cupped my face in his tiny, pudgy hands and said, “I’m sho showie Mummy! I’m a bad boy. I hurt my Mummy’s feet.” It is a grand behaviour that I would want him to develop as he grows older. He should learn to apologise when he makes mistakes rather than imagine himself to be the ultimate patriarch devoid of emotions and beyond admission of guilt. I want him to be kind like his father. I want all my children to be kind. I want Muslims to be kind. I have a dream. I have a dream that we live with peace and harmony, with love in our hearts, praise on our lips, and tenderness in our eyes. I want Muslims to learn to forgive. But before that, I want them to learn to apologise.   

Charity Art Auction for Muslim Women October 3, 2006

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

Below is a note from Sister Kelly at the Islamic Artists Yahoo Group, about a worthy act of charity and kindness for all you artists out there, or those that would like to contribute artwork. 

Salaam Alaikum guys and gals:

I hope your Ramadan is going wonderfully!

I just wanted to let you know about a sadaqa-art opportunity.  There is an organization in Central Texas  that is looking for artwork donations.  They want to auction off your works to raise money.  Here is their website http://www.ctmuslimaat.org/index.html  They are using the money to help battered and abused Muslims and to promote social activism amongst Muslim women in the central Texas community. 

If you don’t mind sparing a piece of work, you can email Sister Adeela Gill at agill@ctmuslimaat.org  for more info.  It’s a great way to spread some baraka in the month of Ramadan and to bring wider exposure to your work.  The day of the show will be November 18th, 2006 and you can tell her Sister Kelly sent ya!

Ya Haqq!

Kindness on a world tour September 29, 2006

Salamaat,

Excerpts from emails I have received this week. Pay it forward y’all  

A. from Iran
Hope this blessed month is going good for u- I”m a Physical medicine Doc. in Tehran.  My good acts this week consisted of 4 times not charging 4 difft. needier patients of mine, making sure to contact my two sisters who are in the states with their own lives and families (i’m single for now) because of their busy schedules and mine we dont have much contact- so for now this week it was emails.  And I bought a delivered dinner carryout for the worker who cleans up my office on thursday nites- for his dinner post-iftar.

 

M. from South Africa
My campaign of kindness is going well Alhamdulillah…tryin with small efforts to keep in touch with distant
friends/relatives…sharing food at iftaar with neighbours  and family…..getting over internal turmoil about the inlaws..breaking down old insecurities and grudges..doing my best to give them all of my love despite the paucity of reciprocation..kheir, indeed…this is the blessed month of peace and boundless possibilities to soar higher and higher ..closer to Him…ultimate Source of Healing and Love

 

M.S. from Pennsylvania
Ive been performing kind acts every day since Ramadan started (Allahamdullilah) and Ive been telling A LOT of people about the campaign as well. My friend in Houston, Texas told a lot of her friends as well..and she told me that a lot of her friends are participating! Allahamdullilah!! It’s Contagious!

 

L. from Costa Rica
Yesterday I put a handful of chocolates in a well-known chocoholics pocket and cooked for my neighbor. Today, I removed a butterfly from my professor’s office who is desperately afraid of butterflies (she’s in the wrong country, i know!)…I know the acts are small but it is difficult bc it honestly does not feel like ramadhan here, and I am not surrounded by people who really fast.  Every muslim on campus drinks…and some are inspired that I actually ‘fast the whole month!?!’ and are joining me in fasting when they ‘can’.  I also taught a girl to pray because her parents never taught her…..I’m trying to organize iftars and i’ve had one so far and one this friday and one with a professor on the 2nd of Oct.  There aren’t even dates to break your fast with!  There are some but are imported from Israel so out of principle I cannot buy them….*sigh*…

Guests and Angels: To Honor and Illuminate September 25, 2006

Honoring guests has always been part of the human tradition. In pre-Islamic times (and to date) Arabs were known for their chivalry and generosity. This was especially pertinent in times of famines and plagues. The concept of “haram” which is now skewed beyond recognition, assured that should a wayfarer step into a man’s domain, he will be taken care of, provided for, and protected from inter tribal hostilities.

 

With the advent of Islam this beautiful trait (among many) existing within the Arab culture were maintained and strengthened. The Prophet (peace be upon him) repeatedly stressed the importance of honoring a guest, the manners of doing so, and provided an Islamic framework to encourage people to continue in their own time honored tradition.

 

The whole concept of “Sulh”/ “Islah” is to strengthen what is intrinsically good/beneficially and reform what is harmful by redirecting it to a positive channel.

 

I will go off on a little tangent and add that this concept of “Islah” should be kept in mind when dealing with Western societies. There are so many good things about these countries that ought to be acknowledged and celebrated. When Muslims (paradoxically ones who live in the west) proceed to denigrate everything as “Kaffir”, “Haram” or alternatively “Bidah/innovation” we end up missing out on awesome opportunities.

 

Everything that Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon him) did in regards to Arabia, was along the lines of working within the current social/economic/political structure of his land and systematically improve on what was already in place. He did not have any designs for a “revolution”; for that would mean an overhaul of what was there. He did not also; proceed to supplant what was already in place, with a completely foreign entity that had no roots within 7^th century Arabia.

 

Later on when Muslims dispersed throughout the lands, Islam was absorbed into a diversity of cultures from Persia to Rome, to Africa and the Far East; producing a medley of accents, traditions, and a continuity of the cultural identities of those who embraced Islam.

 

To me, this remains to be the most beautiful aspect of Islam; the diversity of its adherents and the possibilities of its manifestation. I have seen the ugly side and that is when people insist that their “version” of Islam is the best and should be forced on everyone else around them. The root of such declarations might be better understood in the light of arrogance or perhaps a little ignorance.

 

Going back to the concept of honoring and serving guests; there isn’t a better time to do so than Ramadhan. To open your home to others and share with them those celebratory moments of breaking fast, the murmured prayers of gratitude, and the goodwill of partaking in various savory dishes is an act of worship in of itself.

 

As I was busy cleaning, cooking, and preparing my home for my dear family to break fast with us this weekend, I kept reflecting on how blessed I was to have so many loved ones close to me. I know people who relocate to distant lands and exist as solitary islands; far away from the support and intimacy of everything they knew and loved.  

I was also struck by my own excitement in the preparation process (I remember clearly when it used to be a big chore:); the emotion that was perfectly encapsulated by my baby’s absolute glee when he saw my aunt and cousins walk in. I could have sworn he was greeting the Angels escorting them in; and couldn’t help detecting that the room was intensely  brightened by their presence.

 

In this month of Mercy and giving; open your doors a little wider and expand your circle of breaking bread; you might be surprised by the imperceptible forces seeking to light up your heart.

 

Peace and bessings:)

 

(cross posted at Lightness of Being)

I am humbled, my Lord! September 24, 2006

I have a Christian maid who is usually dressed in half-sleeved tops and ankle-length skirts. Today when I opened the door for her, she had a chador draped around her head which completely covered her arms and hair. She came inside, took it off, folded it, and began the chores. When she finished and was about to leave, she carefully unfolded the chador and wrapped it around her body. I commented that it was pretty hot outside and the chador was a better option than her umbrella that she used to bring. She replied,

 

“No, madam. This not for hotty sun. Ramadan begin now. I feel bad I no cover. This is for Ramadan. This is for your God.”

 

What a kind heart! How thoughtful! How sublime!

 

I feel humbled by my maid, my Lord! I have learnt a lesson today.  

 

May Allah bless all His creatures; those who return to Him in veneration, and even those who may not call Him Allah but know that He is the only God and aim to please Him in little ways.